It’s nearly impossible to judge people’s motives. All of us are incredibly complex individuals that create personal narratives in our minds to justify, whether rationally or irrationally, our own behavior and/or the behavior of others. Of course, as central characters of this self-produced narrative, we can become hyperbolic in our view of ourselves (either/both good and bad) depending on where we think we are in the story. Sometimes we’re overly hard on ourselves when we see our character as a villain through stretches in the narrative and other times we are way too generous and forgiving of our actions as the hero.
Now, layer this understanding and consider the context of intersecting and entering into the stories of others where we are no longer central characters (i.e.., supporting characters in their story and vice versa). It’s bound to be difficult to discern between reality and subjectivity not to mention that stories do change when convenient for storytellers.
I think this is why I think I don’t try force my perspective in most situations. It’s usually not helpful and furthermore, it is difficult to contextualize into the narrative of others. My hope is that my life and narrative would somehow add value, perspective or benefit to those who I have the opportunity to overlap stories with by being in each other’s lives. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get a full picture of anyone’s story so I’m going to side on the side of giving them the benefit of the doubt since I would like the same.
Human relationships are complicated, but still good. Before I rush to any judgment, I’d like to get to know you and your story, whether it’s real or made up in your head. Hope you would do the same with me.